Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People

By Donald Latumahina, July 23, 2008

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way -Leo Tolstoy

There are many ways for people to be unhappy, but happy people have common characteristics. That’s why a good way to be happy is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them.

So I studied what the great minds in history say about being happy. I went through hundreds of quotes on being happy and extracted the best lessons out of them. Not only are these lessons useful, they are also timeless in nature.

Here I’d like to share what I learned with you. Without further ado, here are 17 timeless secrets of happy people:

 

 

1. Forget the past

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory -Rita Mae Brown

You won’t be happy if you carry the burden of the past. Did you make mistakes? Did you have terrible experiences? Whatever they are, you should let them go. There’s nothing you can do about the past, so you’d better let them go and focus your energy on the present.

 

2. Take responsibility for your life

The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage -Thucydides

To be happy you should have freedom and the most essential freedom is the freedom to choose. No matter how bad a situation is, you can always choose how you respond to it. People can annoy you, but it’s up to you whether or not you will resent. But, as the quote above says, freedom takes courage. Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life. You shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong. Take the responsibility and you have the power to choose.

 

3. Build relationships

Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way -Unknown

Relationships are where we can get true happiness in life. The reason is simple: only through relationships can we love and be loved. Make relationships your top priority and you are on your way to true happiness.

4. Develop multiple passions

The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy –Charlotte Catherine

Passions lead you to happiness. So not only should you discover your multiple passions, you should also expand yourself to new passions. This way you will create new ways to happiness.

The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.

5. Build your character

Character is the basis of happiness and happiness the sanction of character -George Santayana

Building your character is essential for happiness. When you are true to yourself and others, you will be in peace.

The way to start building character is by making promises and keeping them. For example, you make promise to yourself that you won’t smoke. When you keep it, you are building your character. Or you make promise to others to be punctual. When you keep it, you build your character.

6. Be who you are

The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is -Desiderius Erasmus

You can only be happy if you become who you are. Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations. People may expect you to have certain job or certain way of living but don’t be intimidated by them. Find who you are and be yourself.

7. Live your life purpose

The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose -William Cowper

To have a fulfilling life, you should find your life purpose and follow it faithfully. Find what matters to you and build the courage to follow it. Having a one-liner will help you internalize and communicate your mission.

8. Count your blessings

Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have -Unknown

Being happy is easy if we are grateful. Unfortunately, seeing what we don’t have is often easier than seeing what we have. Sometimes we need to experience loss before appreciating what we have. So don’t take things for granted. Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be happy. You may start with these simple things.

9. Have positive mind

It is not the place, nor the condition, but the mind alone that can make anyone happy or miserable -Roger L’Estrange

Happy people know how to control their mind. They don’t let negative thoughts come in. While a situation may seem bad to others, happy people look at them in a positive way. They always believe that no matter how bad a situation seems, there is always something positive to take from it. Your mind can make or break you, so guard it well.

10. Work creatively

Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort -Franklin D. Roosevelt

When you work creatively on something you will find happiness. There is a well-known phenomenon regarding this called flow. When you are in the state of flow, you are fully focused on the task at hand that you no longer realize the passage of time. This state of flow allows you to achieve high productivity and being happy at the same time. Here are some tips to achieve it.

11. Start with what you have

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet -James Oppenheim

Happy people don’t need something they don’t have to be happy. They don’t need certain job or certain level of income. Instead, they learn to be happy with what they already have. They have learned the art of contentment. Be content with what you have and you will be happy.

12. Change

They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom -Confucius

Being happy requires you to constantly grow. In fact, the process of learning itself is essential for happiness. Have you ever felt the excitement of being enlightened about something? Have you ever felt the excitement of achieving a new level in life? Top 10 Things You Should Change in Your Life gives you some practical tips on changing your life.

13. Use your talents

True happiness involves the full use of one’s power and talents -Douglas Pagels

There are two lessons to take from this quote. First, you should find your talents and second, you should use them to the fullest. Working in your talents is a sure way to enjoy your work because it’s something you are “hardwired” to do. Using your talents fully will make you even happier because of the satisfaction of doing your best.

 

14. Beware of small things

The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things -Ernest Dimnet

This is very true. Often it’s not big things that ruin your happiness. It’s the small things that do. Perhaps you don’t like someone or break some “small” promises. But even small leaks can sink your ship of happiness, so beware of them.

 

15. Distill your ambitions

Where ambition ends happiness begins -Unknown

While wanting to achieve more in your life is good, being obsessed by it is not. Do your best to improve yourself but don’t be obsessed by it.

 

16. Make others happy

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself -Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is my favorite secret of happiness. The way to being happy is to make others happy first. The more you help other people and make them happy, the more you will be happy. Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness but through selflessness. You reap what you sow.

 

17. Practice compassion

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion -The Dalai Lama

Compassion is perhaps the highest level of selflessness we could have. As this quote aptly says, practicing compassion can make both others and you happy.

But of course, it requires practice. Start with thinking about the people around you. Look at their needs and find ways to meet them. Even if you don’t do it out of compassion in the beginning, your compassion will grow over time.

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All in all, this quote by Aristotle can summarize the lessons above:

Happiness depends on ourselves.

It’s you who decides whether or not you are happy in life. I chose to be happy. What about you?

 

 

Improve Your Concentration

To enhance your Concentration and Powers of Focus, count your steps when you walk. This is a particularly strong

technique. Take six steps while taking a long inhale, hold your breath for another six steps, and then exhale for six

steps. If six steps is too long for the breaths, do whatever you feel comfortable with. You will feel very alert, refreshed,

internally quiet and centered after this exercise. So many people allow their minds to be filled with mental chatter. All

peak performers appreciate the power of a quiet, clear mind which will concentrate steadily on all important tasks.

 

• Enhance your Will-Power; it is likely one of the best training programs you can invest in. Here are some ideas to

strengthen your will and become a stronger person:

1. Do not let your mind float like a piece of paper in the wind. Work hard to keep it focused at all times. When

doing a task, think of nothing else. When walking to work, count the steps that it takes to get all the way to

the office. This is not easy but your mind will soon understand that you hold its reins and not vice versa. Your

mind must eventually become as still as a candle flame in a corner where there is no draft.

2. Your will is like a muscle. You must first exercise it and then push before it gets stronger. This necessarily

involves short term pain but be assured that the improvements will come and will touch your character in a

most positive way. When you are hungry, wait another hour before your meal. When you are laboring over a

difficult task and your mind is prompting you to pick up the latest magazine for a break or to get up and go

talk to a friend, curb the impulse. Soon you will be able to sit for hours in a precisely concentrated state. Sir

Isaac Newton, one of the greatest classical physicists the world has produced, once said: "if I have done the

public any service, it is due to patient thought." Newton had a remarkable ability to sit quietly and think without

interruption for very long periods of time. If he can develop this so can you.

3. You can also build your will-power by restraint in your conduct with others. Speak less (use the 60/40 Rule =

listen 60% of the time and speak a mere 40%, of that). This will not only make you more popular but you will

learn much wisdom as everyone we meet, every day has something to teach us. Also restrain the urge to gossip

or to condemn someone who you feel has made a mistake. Stop complaining and develop a cheerful, vital

and strong personality. You will greatly influence others.

 

• Become a Highly Disciplined Time Manager. There are roughly 168 hours in a week. This surely allows plenty of time

for achievement of the many goals we desire to accomplish. Be ruthless with your time. Set aside a few minutes each

morning to plan your day. Plan around your priorities and focus on not only those tasks which are immediate but not

important (i.e., many telephone calls) but especially on those which are important but not urgent, for these allow for

the greatest personal and professional development. Important but not immediate activities are those which produce

long-term, sustainable benefits and include exercise, strategic planning, the development of relationships and professional

education. Never let the things which matter most be placed in the backseat as compared to those that matter

least.

 

• The Two Minute Mind is an excellent exercise for developing concentration. Simply stare at the second hand on your

wristwatch for two minutes and think about nothing else for that time. At first your mind will wander but after 21 days

of practice, your attention will not waver during the routine. One of the greatest qualities a person can develop to ensure

his success is the ability to focus for extended periods of time. Learn to build up your concentration muscles and

no task will be too difficult for you.

 

• To Enhance your Concentration, read a passage in a book you have never explored. Then try to recite it verbatim.

Practice this for only 5 minutes a day and enjoy the results which follow after a few months of effort.

 

• 6. 83% of our sensory input comes from our eyes. To truly concentrate on something, shut your eyes and you will remove

much distraction.